| |
|
|
|
Two years ago, I decided to accept
the offer of moving to the UK and staying with two
English humans. Last month, they invited me to join
them on a holiday to my native South Africa. As they
intended to return to my home at Lower Sabie in the
Kruger Park, I accepted. This is what happened. |
|
|
|
|
Friday, 6th March
All my bags were packed, I was ready to go...
|
|
My two humans were concerned to sleep on the plane
and admired their flat beds. I could have just as happily
slept on an ordinary seat – but then I’m
only a little lion and can spread out on a small seat.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, as there was a good entertainment
system and the flight attendants were very attentive,
bringing me a glass of Champagne as soon as I settled
in my place. By the time I had drunk that, and eaten
my fillet steak, I slept very well indeed.
Saturday, 7th March
Before we landed, we were offered breakfast
at a very early hour. The airline attendants tried to
fob me off with rolls and fruit, but I demanded bacon,
sausages, eggs and beans. I never get that back home,
so I was glad to seize the opportunity. |
|
|
When we got off the plane, it
was lovely and warm. My humans picked up a car and
we were soon at our destination. Geoff, who was driving,
finally remembered the streets of Benoni!
We were greeted by several of the humans’ pride
and we were given a house all to ourselves to stay
in while we were here! Someone had gone to a lot of
effort (her name is Yvonne) and there was decaffeinated
coffee, muesli, low fat milk and so on. But no meat
for the poor little lion... I shall eat the Lunch
Bar chocolate in the fridge instead – that’ll
show them. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Sunday, 8th
March
Today we drove to another house, passing Benoni's
famous "Hasie Park", but I was not allowed
to go and play with the bunnies.
Another member of the pride (the brother of one of
my humans) cooked a vast amount of meat – pork,
mutton, chicken and gammon. Such generosity does not
exist back home. I like it here and like this human.
He is called Des and I will try to stick close to
him.
|
|
| |
|
|
 |
|
| |
|
|
 |
Monday, 9th
March
I had a Lunch Bar for breakfast. It said
it was a “man sized” one, but it was nowhere
near as big
as a man – but quite big enough for me. |
| |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
Tuesday, 10th
March
My humans served themselves rusks for breakfast.
I thought human
babies ate them but these things are so hard,
my teeth can barely deal with them, let alone a baby’s |
|
| |
|
|
| |
Wednesday, 11th March
Oh no! They went shopping. All day... Then
more time with their pride. I must say these humans
are like lions – sitting around all day, interspersed
with eating large meals. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
Thursday, 12th March
OK, this is getting ridiculous. More shopping.
Don’t they have stuff at home? And I am concerned
– do not these people walk anywhere? They all
seem to have several cars and use them all the time.
Even my humans walk every day. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
One of their favourite shopping
places is Northmead Square |
There were lots of election posters,
which I found quite interesting |
What is the yellow thing on the
man's
head? It doesn't look like a mane. |
|
| |
|
Friday, 13th March
Despite all common sense concerning flying on Friday
13th, my humans and I got into a Kulula plane and
flew to George. We landed heavily, but at least in
one piece. We picked up another (very red) car and
drove to Knysna. The car went slowly. My humans were
rude about Chrysler cars.
The accommodation at Knysna was lovely and my humans
talked about living there “when they won the
lottery”. I don’t know what a lottery
is but I hope they hurry up and win one and buy this
place.
|
|
|
|
The place had an honesty bar – you can take
a drink from the bar and sign for it. I took a bottle
of Castle lager from the bottom shelf of the fridge,
but the book was on the top of the fridge, and as
I am only a little lion, could not reach and sign
for it. I got a bit of a telling off, but after drinking
a whole bottle, I did not care. Had a bit of a nap...
My humans came back from a restaurant
raving about the food. They did not take me. Not that
I was very hungry, for some reason.
|
 |
|
Saturday,
14th March
The place has a Jack Russell
dog, which followed my humans for their walk. I
did not go with as I only have little
legs. For some reason I also had a slight headache,
so I just spent the morning resting.
That evening we went to a
strange restaurant. Ostrich samosa? Boboetie
spring roll? Goan fish curry? My humans
raved. I was not impressed – no
meat. And the decor was very... pink.
Where is Des? And when I am going to Lower Sabie? |
|
|
 |
Sunday, 15th March
The locals came to our resort and had a fine
time. There was even a baptism in the river. The singing
was very moving.
It got so hot in the afternoon that my humans went
back to their room and turned on the air conditioning.
That evening we drove to the other side of the lagoon
to another restaurant. There was a huge choice and
lots of interesting meat. The humans made a good choice
in the impala carpaccio for starters, but wimped out
with fish for main course. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Monday, 16th March
At breakfast, the dog sat on Geoff’s
lap and begged for food. Do dogs have no shame, no
dignity? We lions just stare threateningly into the
eyes, growling, and food arrives. But my humans are
pathetic “Ah - isn’t she sweet?”
they exclaimed. Ugh.
Just as I was getting comfortable here is Knysna,
my humans returned to Benoni. Why? I like it here.
When we got back, we did some food shopping and had
lunch with the one they called Edna. I sampled pomegranate
juice for the first time.
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, 17th March
Finally, my humans were going to Lower
Sabie. It was a long drive. We left at 9 and did
not arrive until 3. But where were we? This isn't
Lower Sabie. It's some place where I can only gaze
out over the river in the hope of seeing one of
my relatives. But they have promised to take me
to the promised land tomorrow... we shall see!
Later that evening, Des braai’d two beef
fillets and chicken piri piri. There was also a
lot of Castle lager. I like Des.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Wednesday, 18th March
We set off early – up at 5 and we were
in the Park by 6am. Des told us that lions had been
spotted by Crocodile Gate, where we entered the Park.
Could it be my family? But six pairs of eyes failed
to spot them. We soon saw some impala and zebra and
Geoff invited me to hop out and grab a meal. I must
say that impala and zebra were rather bigger than
I remembered, and anyway, I was still full from the
braai, so I declined the offer.
Des then shouted, “It’s a cheetah!”
and sure enough there was a cheetah and her cubs.
There were some impala nearby, and we watched as she
stalked one and killed it, and called her cubs to
eat it. Gross! No wonder humans go to Sainsbury’s.
Does Des do this or go to Sainsbury’s, I wonder?
We got to Lower Sabie camp at 11, so we all went in
for a coffee. I was delighted to see my brother Bertram
sitting at an adjacent table, and we chatted and caught
up. Apparently brother Albert has his own pride now,
and Charlie has left the pride and hopes to settle
down soon. Donald and Edward remain at home with Mother.
That evening Des cooked another braai – this
time some chicken and lamb chops and Castle lager.
Did I mention how much I like Des? |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
 |
Thursday, 19th March
Another early start, and more reports of
lions by the gate. Could it be brother Albert? We
searched, but could not find anyone. Albert was always
a good stalker. We saw several other animals, and
again my humans invited me to “go back to nature”
and catch supper. I muttered where they could go.
I am only a little lion and really last night’s
meal was quite enough for a while.
We revisited Lower Sabie where I chatted to Bertram
again. Geoff and I invited him to come back with us
but Bruce was mean and wicked and said the house was
not big enough for two lions. I tried growling, but
he started to wonder if the house was big enough for
one lion and I decided not to push my luck.
On our way back, there were reports that last night’s
rain had caused the river to flood, and there was
a risk that the bridge might be closed. It was flooded,
but we drove over it regardless – slowly and
carefully!
That night, we went to a restaurant for supper. It
was very nice, but I think I prefer Des’ braais. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
Friday, 20th March
Back to Benoni. There was a huge thunderstorm
on the drive home. I am a very brave lion, but I have
never seen anything like it, and was glad when Geoff
decided to pull over and stop on the hard shoulder.
|
|
|
 |
Saturday, 21st March
More family visits, more shopping. Don’t those
two humans have enough stuff?
That evening, my humans took out most of the pride
for dinner at a restaurant. 15 of us around the table.
|
|
|
| |
|
Sunday, 22nd March
Well, more family visits, and an enormous
lunch which was concluded with Yvonne's special trifle.
Why do they call something so big a trifle?
Then back to the airport and back on the plane. More
Champagne, another meal and I fell asleep watching
“A Bunch of Amateurs”. |
|
|
|
Monday, 23rd March
We landed at 5am. It was cold. When can we go back? |
|
|
|
